Garv told me that for our company to be fully transparent, we need to release all the transcripts from our staff meetings. That way people can keep up with what we’ve got going on. We normally have one meeting a month, so I’ll be recording and transcribing them for you here.
This is from our first meeting, this past Monday.
QRE Meeting Transcript
Transcribed by: William Cadderly
And sometimes Y
Gary: Okay guys, I’ve called this meeting so we can discuss the relaunch of QRE. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty damn excited.
Y: Guys, I gotta bail for now. Might be back later.
Gary: No problem. Come back if you can.
Cadderly: So far, I’ve created a comprehensive list of all of our current writers and I’ve actually written my first series of articles. So technically, I’m now a QRE—
Gary: Okay, Billy, shut up. Justin, I got your video game article. It’s good, but for the next one, could you try to add more diamonds?
Justin: I have no idea what that means.
Gary: Brandon, I’ve still not received any articles from you yet.
Brandon: If it’s cool with you, I’m gonna blame Cadderly for that.
Gary: Fair enough.
Cadderly: Wait. What? I had nothing to do with his lack of—
Gary: We don’t pass the buck around here, Billy. If you want to move up in this organization, you’re going to have to learn to take responsibility.
Cadderly: My name is William. And he just passed the buck!
Gary: Billy, I’m going to have to write you up over this. That’s the second write-up in the past two weeks.
Cadderly: The first write up was because Jake called Irky a bug-eye.
Gary: You should have intervened.
Cadderly: I wasn’t there!
Gary: Be that as it may, if Brandon doesn’t hand in at least one article by Monday, I’m afraid I’ll have to give you a third write-up. Three write-ups will result in a dock in pay.
Cadderly: You don’t pay me. I’m technically an intern… even though I do pretty much all the work around here.
Gary: Right. So unless you want to pay me three days’ wages, I recommend that Brandon turns in an article.
Brandon: If I can beat Batman: Arkham City by Monday, I’ll try and throw something together.
Gary: Cool. Just do your best. The ending of that game rules.
Brandon: Yeah, I beat it twice already.
Cadderly: If you beat it twice already, do you think you could do the article first, then get back to the game?
Brandon: Not on your life, man.
Justin: Seriously, what do you mean by “more diamonds.” I want to do a good job here, but that doesn’t make any sense. Are you saying I need to make my articles flashier?
Jake: I WROTE YOU A BUNCH OF ARTICLES! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?!?
Gary: I was just gonna say thanks, man.
Jake: Oh, okay.
Brandon: CHICKEN DANCE!
*at this point, everyone in the meeting did a “chicken dance”*
Gary: Billy! Your dance is too similar to Justin’s! Work on it!
Cadderly: This is ridiculous.
Gary: Everybody, stop dancing. Billy has ruined it again.
Jake: DAMMIT, CADDERLY, I WILL KILL YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!
Cadderly: My family died in a forest fire when I was seven.
Jake: Oh, okay. You should become Batman, only instead of fighting crime, you should fight fire.
Cadderly: I’ve considered it.
Justin: So you’ve considered being a fire fighter?
Cadderly: No. I’d be a crime fighter who focuses on fighting fire. Totally different.
Justin: That doesn’t make any sense at all.
Jake: Justin, quit picking on Cadderly!
Cadderly: Thanks, Jake.
Jake: You shut your stupid mouth or I’ll fix you up with a beautiful woman, make sure you fall madly in love with her, then I’ll kill her in front of you.
Gary: Okay, guys, that’s it for now. Let’s get this baby launched! Let’s… make… a MOLLY!
Justin: What’s a molly?
Y: I’m back! What’d I miss?
*End of Meeting*