My wife and I went to the drive-in to see it tonight.
I absolutely love that we have a drive-in theater in our area. They’re practically extinct, but we still have one. And you wanna know the absolute best thing about our drive-in theater?
That’s right. They sell corn nuggets. To explain to folks who aren’t local to this area, a corn nugget is a local food that can only be described as gloriously delicious. I’m not going to bother explaining exactly what they are because no explanation I could come up with would be adequate.
We got to the drive-in and I immediately bolted for the concession stand.
To get some corn nuggets!
I hadn’t been to this drive-in for over a year, so I was excited. There are only two places I know of that sell corn nuggets. A local restaurant and this drive-in theater.
That was when I discovered something horrible… truly horrible.
And then there was one.
Now I officially only know of one place – in all the world – that sells corn nuggets.
I’m not gonna lie here… I cried a little.
So after I recovered from the corn nugget disaster, I came back to the car, determined to make the best of a bad situation. At least I’d finally be able to give a knowledgeable review of Taken 2.
The first thing that surprised me about Taken 2 was the fact that it was animated… and it was about video games.
I was shocked that the filmmakers had the courage to take the franchise in such a dramatically new direction.
I immediately turned to my wife and said, “So which one is Liam Neeson?”
My wife sighed. She sighs a lot. I don’t know why. Anyway, she sighed and said, “None of them.”
This horrified me. How the hell can you have Taken 2 without Liam Neeson?
“How the hell can you have Taken 2 without Liam Neeson?” I asked.
My wife sighed again (I told you, it’s downright chronic). “This isn’t Taken 2. Taken 2 is not playing tonight.”
She then explained to me that it was some movie called Smash Em Sam or something like that.
I felt absolutely betrayed.
“I did,” the sigh-queen said.
“Earlier this week,” she said, “when you wrote ‘Taken 2’ on the calendar for tonight. I also corrected you when you suggested that today should be renamed ‘Taken 2 Day.’ I also corrected you as we were leaving the house tonight and you put the sign on the door that said, ‘Be Back Later. Gone to watch Taken 2.’ I also corrected you a total of four times while we were driving here.”
“Oh,” I said. “Okay.”
By this point, she had sighed a total of seven times. I’ve learned over the years that it’s unwise for me to cause my wife to sigh eight times in one conversation, so I let it go and settled in to watch the movie.
On the bright side, Beat Em Up, Billy or whatever it’s called was a very fun movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Hopefully, someone here at QRE will review it soon.