Transcript of QRE Staff Meeting, November 7, 2012 – Special Guest Barack Obama

by William on November 8, 2012

Obama At The Quiet RoomQRE STAFF MEETING NOV WEEK 1
November 7, 2012
Transcribed by: William Cadderly
Attendees:
Garv
Justin
Jake
Brandon
Cadderly
Irky
Frankenstein’s Monster
Barack Obama

 

Garv: Gentlemen, may I pres…

Jake: Don’t forget Justin!

Justin: Hey!

Jake: Just sayin’.

Cadderly: Jake, that’s not…

Jake: Stow it, woman, or you’ll never have babies again!

Brandon: HA!

Irky: Wait, William can have babies?

Justin: No, Irky. It’s just Jake bei…

Jake: Does anybody else wish Adam Ant were here?

Brandon: Atom Ant? The little guy from the cartoons?

Jake: No, Adam Ant. ‘Goody Two Shoes’, star of the Batman cartoon.

Justin: Star? He did one character, like 15 years ago.

Garv:  …present the President of the United States of America, Barack Obama.

Cadderly: Mr. President, it’s an honor.

Barack Obama: I just wanted to stop by for a moment and thank you all for your continued support. I know you all had a lot riding on this election, and I’d like to tell you that I really appreciate you putting your faith in me for a second term.

Justin: I voted for the other guy.

Obama: Well, be that as it may, I hope I can reach across the ais…

Irky: Isn’t that kind of rude?

Justin: What? To reach across the aisle? Depends on…

Irky: No, to tell the President to his face that you voted for the other guy.

Garv: You know, there were more than just two Presidential candidates.

Obama: Yes, there were. My opponents wer…

Brandon: Yeah, you have the Green Party, the Constitution Party,  the Lib…

Jake: A Dead Man’s Party! Am I right, Frankenstein?

Frankenstein’s Monster: GNNAAAAHHHH!!!

Obama: Actually, that’s Frankenstein’s Monster.

Frankenstein’s Monster: RRRRAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!

Obama: Well, you’re absolutely correct, Frankenstein’s Monster, but I don’t think Soledad would let me.

Frankenstein’s Monster: (sounding dejected) AAARRRGGGGNNNNHHHHHH.

Irky: So tell us, Mister President – what’s the plan for the country?

Obama: Well, Irky, I’m glad you asked. More than 200 years after a former colony won the right to determine its own dest…

Brandon: That’s your speech from last night.

Obama: What?

Brandon: Yeah, that’s from the speech you gave last night. You were about to say, “…won the right to determine its own destiny, the task of perfecting our union moves forward.”

Obama: No I wasn’t.

Irky: Yes you were.

Jake: (looking over shoulder) And what do you keep looking at?

Justin: That’s evidence of his continued use of teleprompters.

Obama: Lots of people use tel…

Cadderly: It’s okay, Mister President.

Justin: Yeah, but they don’t use them all the time.

Obama: I just feel tha…

Jake: I’m hungry.

Irky: What’s poutine?

Garv: It’s Canadian.

Obama: It moves forward because of you. It moves forward because…

Brandon: Like the french fries with gravy and cheese on them?

Justin: I don’t know what you’re talking aboot.

Obama: …that has triumphed over war and depression, the spirit…

Irky: Aboot! Ha!

Garv: You know, Canada has a lot of redeeming qualities.

Justin: Gays have been allowed to serve in the military since 1991.

Obama: …will pursue our own individual dreams, we are an…

Brandon: They have publicly funded healthcare!

Jake: Poutine!

Justin: LGBT rights in Canada are the most advanced in the Americas.

Frankenstein’s Monster: GAAAAHHHHHHNNNNNHHHHH?

Garv: No, I’m pretty sure they have fire in Canada.

Frankenstein’s Monster: AAAARRRRRNNNNNNGGGGGGGHHHHHH.

Obama: …the American people, reminded us that while our road has been hard, while our journey has been long…

Cadderly: (sigh)

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Richard Phillips on Facebook November 8, 2012 at 10:47

If the Monster had been on the ballot, I would have voted for it. It demonstrates a deep capacity for creative conversation.

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