Garv: Alright guys. I know it’s Monday, but I figured we’d go ahead & have our staff meeting over lunch and get it out of the way, then those of you who don’t have articles pending can take the rest of the week off.
Justin: With pay?
Garv: Of course with pay.
Cadderly: Wait, you get paid?
Tony: Thanks! But it’s not lunchtime here, it’s like 9 in the morning.
Jake: You’re an intern, Billy. Interns are generally unpaid.
Brandon: Is Tony on a satellite delay?
Garv: Yeah. Since the earth spins clockwise, our signal gets to him faster than his gets back to us.
Justin: I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.
Cadderly: How much do you get paid?
Tony: Yeah, I am.
Jake: That’s a rude question, don’t you think?
Irky: It really is a breach of polite behaviour to discuss wages with your coworkers. While it’s not in our employee handbook, it is generally frowned upon by HR.
Garv: We have a handbook?
Jake: We have HR?
Justin: Was there a ‘u’ in there when you said ‘behavior’?
Tony: It is!
Brandon: Who brought the turkey?
Turkey: Gobble gobble gobble!
Irky: Oh, he’s with me. I’m working on this new communicator/translation device. Hopefully I’ll have it by the end of the day, then Cadderly can get an interview with him.
Jake: For Thanksgiving?
Justin: I think he’s hoping the turkey will say something controversial, then we can translate that into publicity.
Cadderly: Am I the only one here who doesn’t get paid?
Frankenstein’s Monster: GGGGAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! RRRRRAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!
Turkey: Gobble gobble gobble, gobble!
Justin: Cadderly, just let it go. I’ll talk to Garv later on and see if we can get you paid sometime in the future.
Justin: No, not really. He kind of scares me. Not like in a physical way, but mentally.
Jake: You mean, like…you think he’s a psychopath or something?
Tony: Actually, that’s Frankenstein’s Monster.
Garv: Oh, yeah. Everyone, it’s Tony’s birthday. Let’s sing him an unlicensed royalty-free song wishing him a happy birthday.
Justin: Why can’t we just sing him Happy Birth…
Jake: Shut it! We can’t sing that one. It was copy written in 1934, and through various means has come to belong to AOL Time Warner, who collects almost $2 million per year. We can’t afford that.
Justin: How do you know that?
Jake: How do I know what?
Cadderly: The bit about Happy Birth…
Jake: Shut it! We can’t sing that one. I just told you.
Tony: Thanks guys!
Irky: I think I’ve got it.
Brandon: Got what?
Irky: The translator. Cadderly, come see if you can talk to the turkey.
Cadderly: Why don’t you talk to the turkey?
Irky: I can already talk to the turkey. Duh.
Cadderly: Hi, turkey! How are you?
Turkey: Gobble gobble gobble, gobble gobble!
Cadderly: Oh, I think he likes me!
Garv: Okay folks, since we’re working through lunch, I ordered in.
Jake: What’d you get?
Garv: Subway. I got a party platter.
Justin: What kind of subs?
Garv: Well, since it’s the week of Thanksgiving, I thought it was only logical I get turkey.
Turkey: GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!
Frankenstein’s Monster: AAAARRRRRRGGGGGNNNHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Jake: Yeah, I agree.
Tony: What kind of subs?
Garv: What? You don’t like turkey?