Transcribed by: William Cadderly
Bestselling Author Brandon Hale
GARV: Okay, now that we’re back in business, I think we need to -
CADDERLY: Hold on.
CADDERLY: Aren’t we even going to TALK about why we haven’t been updating?
GARV: I think that’s all water under the bridge, William.
JAKE: Yeah, Willie. Why don’t you just drop it?
CADDERLY: YOU are the one who sold me to that brothel!
JAKE: I needed the money.
CADDERLY: THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!
GARV: Seriously, we got you back, didn’t we?
JAKE: At a discount, too. Irky is a great negotiator.
IRKY: I just pointed out that after the things he’d been forced to do, his value had logically decreased.
BRANDON: I’d just like to point out that my ‘Day Soldiers’ books, including ‘The Sneaker’s Handbook’, have been doing great and are available at Amazon and fine bookstores.
BRANDON: And ‘The Man From Newella’ is out too! You can check out all my stuff at my website, www.booksfromhale.com if you’d like.
JUSTIN: So your entire contribution to this meeting is to shamelessly plug your books?
BRANDON: At least I’VE been doing something with my time; not on vacation in Thailand like Cadderly.
CADDERLY: I WASN’T ON VACATION!! I WAS BEING HELD PRISONER IN THAT FILTHY HELLHOLE!
JAKE: Hey, I’ve been busy, too!
CADDERLY: Oh, yes! Yes, you have! You’ve been drinking and, probably, snorting your way through the blood money you got when you turned me over to those Bangkok flesh peddlers!
JAKE: I’ve been working hard and I needed a break. So naturally, I needed some money.
GARV: And I think you look refreshed.
JAKE: Thank you.
BRANDON: Also, Will, my book proceeds are what paid to get you back here. We tried to get Liam Neeson to help under the pretense of filming “Taken 3″, but Irky had to suffice.
GARV: So I think we’ve got things well in hand.
CADDERLY: I . . . I’ve seen and, and done things . . . HORRIBLE things!
GARV: Hey, has anyone seen Frankenstein?
JAKE: He’s not a rent-boy anywhere in Southeast Asia, I’m pretty sure.
GARV: Oh, no.
BRANDON: Actually, it’s Frankenstein’s Monster.
CADDERLY: I’m all dead inside.
(It was at this point that Cadderly curled up on the floor, sobbing, so the meeting was adjourned)